Thursday, March 21, 2013


I need to stop treating small candy bars like snacks.  I shove them into my mouth multiple times because “they have nuts!” I negate them because of their size.

You know who doesn’t negate them?

My thighs.

My thighs invite the candy bars over for coffee and light conversation. My thighs are all, "Let's watch the Laker game!"   My thighs are super friendly.  They invite EVERYONE I negate over!  Those leftover fries the warehouse guy gave me for lunch, that spoonful of peanut butter (or two) eaten standing at the sink, all of the wine, all of the beer, every melted cheese thing.  "COME ON OVER!!" Their welcome mat is huge. 

My thighs are like, “Party time at our house!!!” And all of those things come over and they all bring friends.  And it doesn’t matter if there are too many to fit, the walls endlessly stretch.  And even if they hit their limit, the overflow just moves up to the attic of my hips and belly. 

IT’S A FREE FOR ALL!!!

God damn.  

I need to stop saying no to myself.  Or there won’t be any room in here for me. 

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