Saturday, November 5, 2011

Do not lie to me. I will know. I will bust you mid-sentence.  You will say she is upstairs but she isn’t because she just texted me she is all the way in another state.  Good thing you rectified it.  It made me stand straight up. 

Sunbeams.

I wish I could be super regimented.  I want to be an army man when it comes to my personal life.  Maybe I could hire R. Lee Ermey to yell at me every minute until I become a better human being.  I think that might be a good plan.

On a sidebar, don’t you hate when your dog’s ear fills with blood and you have to take it to the emergency vet office where they will charge you $327 dollars to slice open the ear, drain it, cauterize it, bandage it and sell you a plastic cone to put over the dog’s neck so they don’t rub/scratch off their bandages?  Don’t you hate that? Doesn’t that make you wish you never had dogs? 

I do.

They said she was such a good girl. A good, good girl.  I felt like I could’ve been that dog.  Maybe I am that dog.  I always am that dog.

Red lipstick isn’t for everyone. Christmas fast approaches. The toilet continuously plugs up.  The garbage disposal continues to be broken and I continue to not win the lottery.

The mornings are so black lately you have to call them night.

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