Saturday, November 19, 2011

Hi.  I think I’ve done everything I’ve supposed to have done this morning except fill up the car with gas.  I need to read a good book soon or I will die.  I picked up dog poo last night.  Little cigars. BIG cigars.  Also, I ate at CafĂ© Rio.  It sounds exotic.  Like ladies with feathers on their breasts and buttocks sing while they serve you but this is not the case although the staff behind the counter DID serenade me for a reason I have yet to figure out.  Something about a “sweet lady”  “We have a sweet, sweet lady…” something something.  It was embarrassing and weird.  The food was still good.

Prior to that we drove to B-Lo’s house and creepily did a drive by and then turned around and then parked and looked into his windows, which were all open btw, and we decided we were too creepy to ask him to come out and hug me.  And now that I’m typing that sentence I believe we made the correct decision.

“Creepy stealth mode”

Also, the exact cost of two double doubles and a small fry at mcdonalds drive thru was $3.28. I paid in exact change and got rid of 8 pennies like a flygirl. 

One day I will buy a real coat.  What day will that be?  I hope it will be soon. The weather is changing.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Do not lie to me. I will know. I will bust you mid-sentence.  You will say she is upstairs but she isn’t because she just texted me she is all the way in another state.  Good thing you rectified it.  It made me stand straight up. 


I wish I could be super regimented.  I want to be an army man when it comes to my personal life.  Maybe I could hire R. Lee Ermey to yell at me every minute until I become a better human being.  I think that might be a good plan.

On a sidebar, don’t you hate when your dog’s ear fills with blood and you have to take it to the emergency vet office where they will charge you $327 dollars to slice open the ear, drain it, cauterize it, bandage it and sell you a plastic cone to put over the dog’s neck so they don’t rub/scratch off their bandages?  Don’t you hate that? Doesn’t that make you wish you never had dogs? 

I do.

They said she was such a good girl. A good, good girl.  I felt like I could’ve been that dog.  Maybe I am that dog.  I always am that dog.

Red lipstick isn’t for everyone. Christmas fast approaches. The toilet continuously plugs up.  The garbage disposal continues to be broken and I continue to not win the lottery.

The mornings are so black lately you have to call them night.