Saturday, October 22, 2011

The office mice like to fool us, disguising their turds as coffee grounds, putting them on our desks, the sides of lotion bottles, bottoms of our pencil drawers like they are just common detritus. We wipe them away keep wiping them away until the third day when we realize we don’t drink coffee and how do coffee grounds stick to lotion bottles anyway?

All food gets locked up like mental patients.

When we go to catch them we leave chocolate instead of cheese. Again, they like to fool us, preferring chocolate to cheese. Have you heard of such a thing? Black glue traps against sides of walls where we figure they like to run against, in the dark, when we are not there, when we are sleeping. Black glue traps glistening like still lakes. One is floating a blue M&M. I think of a painting I saw once. I think about monoliths. I wonder what would happen if I put my foot in one. I dream about it.

There is a day that dogs come. First a small one then a big one. I have no idea why. I pet the uglier dog. I want the cuter dog to see me. I want it to feel less than. I wonder how they feel about mice. Animal cruelty all around.

Nobody wants to touch the full glue trap when it happens. Everybody dances around. Hands and feet hands and feet. Dancing. You go. No you. A fight to take care of what we all wanted and now don’t. Everyone looks away from the mirror. I look away.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Tonight, I will go have the wine in a place with couches and soft chairs. Maybe there will be dim lighting.  I hear there is also a wine vending machine.  One sort of like a soft-serve yogurt machine but with wine.  Oh Ultimate Universal Being it is obvious you have listened to my prayers! 

I will swipe my card.

I will place my glass carefully below the spigot.

I will press the necessary buttons.

Oh hail the wine dispensing machine!

Technology will not end with Steve Jobs passing.  I swear this today.  Cross my heart, hope to wine.


Tonight, I will also drive to a radio station to claim my prize.  It is not monetary, but it is definitely worth driving the wrong way through Los Angeles Friday rush hour traffic to get my dirty paws on.  Plus, it is free and it is a prize and I won it, so, suck it traffic!

Also, E.L.O. has some songs that make me go YES!!  So, suck it cool!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Bluestem Magazine nominated "Demonstration of Gravity" for Best of the Net!!

Between this and it being on Wigleaf's Top 50, I am getting a ton of mileage out of this one!

YAY STORIES!!!