Thursday, January 6, 2011

I have the prettiest dentist in America.  It's true. I forget, but then I go see her and she comes over me while I'm lying in the chair and I'm like, "You are so pretty." But I do not say this aloud because that is weird.

Anyway.  My teeth are mostly good.  She says I grind my teeth because the edges are all flat.  She basically told my my canines are not pointy anymore and it made me feel like a failure at being a carnivore.  Like, now, if i try to hunt and kill prey, I will have to ask them nicely to lie down while i gum them to death or something. 

No cavities!

Then she had the old lady hygenist come over and do the cleaning and she starts off by flossing my teeth.  Now, I have a problem with this.  First of all, it makes me feel like I am a toddler.  Secondly, shouldn't we have some social foreplay first, before you just start putting your hands and string into my mouth?  Like, it just seems like someone just walked up to me and went right to third base or something.  It was super odd and uncomfortable. I sat there and took it.   What else could i do?  I mean, it wasn't 'rape shower' bad, but it was maybe two steps up from that. 

They are referring me to someone for my wisdom tooth that is in the process of escaping from my gums.  I hope they tell me he can stay there. 

Next up...VAGINA DOCTOR!

3 comments:

  1. if you consider Dr. Ruth hot....

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  2. Dr. Ruth is... not hot. You have scared me. Thanks a lot for that, too.

    ReplyDelete